© 2011 Lynsey

Good times


For me, the last year seems to have been one of almost relentless loss. It sometimes feels like a non-stop Autumn when the leaves continue to dry, corrupt, and fall. Ideas, dreams, goals, plans – the fruits of ambition have simply rotted on the vine. People I’ve loved have died; possessions have rusted or rotted; technologies tried, tested, and trusted have failed; knowledge painfully gained over time found to be irrelevant and futile.

I don’t believe there’s some enormous cosmic (or comic) plan, some conspiracy or other force at play – I just think that behind the sadness and frustration there’s nothing. I refuse to reinforce the sense of loss by giving it a meaning or interpretation. It’s just loss. I find no comfort in peppy pop psych quotes about how “change is good” and “change is the only constant”. Believe me, when the lights go out, the old fears are just a heartbeat away.

What’s proven far more valuable to me is to work with the sense of gain with gratitude for those things that continue to work and those people who are still here.

I got to spend a few precious moments with my father-in-law Mate (say: Marty) this afternoon. There’s never enough time. We talked about photography and how the technology had changed. I enjoy his company very much. He’s generous with his stories, with his heart, and with his laughter – and I love that very much – but I sometimes I feel helpless about what I feel he isn’t telling and I feel sad at the untold story. It’s like the silence between the words weighs more – there should be more, more – something. There’s an unspoken meaning, something I’m missing, misunderstanding. I fall back in the chair and we carry on. Working with what we’ve got. Nothing more, nothing less. Thank you. That’s enough.

Happy Father’s Day Mate.

Manifesto
20. Every day say thank you.
21. Every day seek the support of others. You are not alone.
42. Every day celebrate. Who you are. What you have achieved. Things that matter to you.

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