© 2012 Marica

Pampering

Pampering myself is not something that comes naturally. I always feel it is being selfish. Guilt nags away at me. The reason for this is simple – taking care of the needs of others always comes first. This way of thinking and acting is deeply ingrained in my psyche. It is one of those unwritten or unspoken beliefs that I have acquired by osmosis.

Subtle messaging throughout my life has reinforced this way of being. For example, my parents never rested, they were always working and this is what they expected of us too. Everything had to be done before you could sit and relax.

This last year has taken its toll on my well-being. A stressful job, the sudden death of a close friend, my team and I all being made redundant, having to look for a new job, ageing parents requiring more of my time, various health issues within my family network and endless other pressures on my time. As a result my internal resources have been depleted and my body is screaming at me to take notice and do something about it. For the first time ever I have struggled to keep going. This has shocked me. I haven’t been able to bounce back as easily as I once could.

I know the theory behind what has happened to me. I’ve read the books. I’ve taken the self-help classes. I’ve sought professional guidance. Doing what needs to be done is another thing. Making me a priority is not so easy. I keep thinking about the health and safety scenario when you’re flying – you need to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help anyone else.

I am working on changing my internal script. I matter. The best thing I can do for others is to take better care of myself. This is NOT being selfish. It is essential.

I have made a start on this new way of being – taking relaxing baths, going for walks, going swimming, making time to stitch, reading for pleasure and not just for information, making time for the other things I love doing … and today, I treated myself to a pedicure. What total luxury.

I love my bright red toe nails. They make me smile every time I look down at them. My feet are amazing. They have served me so well. They need to be pampered because I want them to keep serving me for a very long time!

Manifesto
08. Every day choose to bring about change.
12. Every day love yourself.
19. Every day make time for yourself.

2 Comments