I’m unsure that anything really changes. To me it seems most people change one kind of slavery for another; without much of a pay-off. It really seems at best people jump off one line to find themselves on the next line (or two) across, and that maybe the only significant change is the momentary breath of fresh air in the new setting. It’s not rejuvenation. Before long, the new ways end up looking a lot like the old ways.

It’s hard to give up old comfortable patterns.

Mostly because it’s easy to grow a ponytail, to get a harley. It’s a lot harder to make inner, deeply personal changes to your heart and mind; to see things in a truly fresh way. True change.

Manifesto
02. Every day is an opportunity for a new beginning.
06. Every day you make choices.
08. Every day choose to bring about change.

In a moment of drunken bravado, Boris confessed to being the baby in the pram in Sergei Eisenstein’s movie, Battleship Potemkin. After a stunned silence the entire bar burst into laughter – first at the outrageous claim, and second at Boris’s embarrassing political naivety. His colleagues teased and taunted him mercilessly for weeks. His protests about just being a baby, and how his mother had allowed him to be filmed because she had known Eisenstein fell on deaf ears.

Stung by the hurtful comments, Boris’s heart could find no rest in the previous havens of beautiful and elegant structures. To him they had become a kind of blasphemy. As his heart darkened, he found creative inspiration in African termite towers. Thick stucco over brick walls, tiny windows, tiled finishes inside and out. Functional. Standardised. Godless. Man as an insect, a living machine. An inspirational example of collective behaviour. He found favour with the new leadership, and he forgot all that he had ever been.

Manifesto
06. Every day you make choices.
25. Every day your light shines for others to see.
43. Every day accept you will make mistakes. Learn from them. They are opportunities in disguise.

When I was a kid I used to come to Wellington and look up at the big buildings and wonder what it was like from ‘up there’. I still find the view looking up from ‘down here’ fascinating. There are many architectural styles to be found in the CBD. The overall design is anything but a coherent vision of town planning. I love it nevertheless.

I’m inspired to find the little snippets of design – some architect or designer has decided ‘stuff it, let’s have this – or that’. And we find some elegant little piece of applied art almost as an after thought – a tiny window perhaps, or an attractive piece of detailing work. Most of the buildings concerned would have been built when architectural drawings were made by hand – and so the detail work had been deliberate. Sometimes it seems like a private joke and I can image the delight in the designer’s voice as he describes the next subtle piece of work.

Keep looking up – there’s a beauty and an elegance in the functional patterns that surround us.

Manifesto
14. Every day the ordinary can be the extraordinary.
36. Every day be still. Connect to your inner being. Listen and be guided by it.
47. Every day you are responsible.

I’ve been converting our garage into a art studio. It’s already an embassy of creativity, and that’s just in sorting through the clutter, and removing the “handy work” left by the former owners. I’ve learned a number of valuable lessons demolishing the various workbenches and shelving units. The former owner had a two prong approach – use the cheapest, least durable materials available, and then use as many fixing methods as possible, sacrificing strength, practicality, and above all else, beauty, wherever possible.

I have become very focussed on the delights of the well-driven nail, the stainless steel screw, careful measurements, accurate cutting; and above all else, thinking about the project at hand before launching into it. I’ve come to realise that some of the struggles of life have come about from taking short cuts that don’t work out, or using substandard resources. This is not the way to solve a problem or to take advantage of an opportunity. Even if quick and dirty works in the short term, it’s not constructive for your spirit long term.

Instead of putting up with the shabby, wonky shelves or the insect riddled workbenches that draw energy out of our lives I believe it is really worth the effort to throw them out, sweep the floor, and then start from fresh with good materials and apply the best thinking and hand skills possible to the opportunity. Do it once, and do it right.

Manifesto
02. Every day is an opportunity for a new beginning.
06. Every day you make choices.
15. Every day make a difference to yourself and others.

For a while now I have been following Connie Hozvicka (Dirty Footprints Studio) as she has transformed herself from a school art teacher to an Artist – yes, an Artist with a capital A!

Connie is passionate about the ability of art to change lives and she has certainly used it to create the life she wants to be living. Connie oozes “creative juiciness” and her passion is very infectious. I have participated in a number of her online art journalling workshops and have loved each experience and my interactions with her.

Yesterday Connie promoted an upcoming wishBIG ecamp and offered a gift to her readers:

“Just in case you’re feeling lucky…
I’m giving away one free registration to a lucky commenter!

Yep, all you need to do is leave a comment below telling me what your wishBIG is for 2012….and you might be the lucky snowball that wins!”

I am not sure why this invitation attracted my attention. First of all, I don’t believe in wishes (fanciful time wasting says the sceptic in me). Secondly, I have come to believe that there are two types of people in this world – those that are born lucky and those that aren’t. I definitely fall in the latter category. As you can see there is lots of healthy left brain thinking going on here: wishing is a waste of time and is for dreamers, setting goals and taking action is what its all about, dreams can’t possibly come true so why waste time thinking about them … I could go on but I’m sure you get the picture.

Fortunately, I also have a right brain – my wonderful creative and spirited friend that said to me, “Really, is that what you honestly believe? Why don’t you wish? Where’s the harm in giving it go?”

I have a book, The WishingYear by Noelle Oxenhandler, sitting in the rather large book pile by my bed waiting to be read. This book has been there a while. It is in pristine condition – it has not been opened. A part of me thinks, “I bet her wishes come true and do I really want to know about it”. Another part of me thinks, “There might be something in this and maybe I need to explore this more – maybe I need to start wishing.”

Thanks to Connie, I started wishing yesterday. I began by wondering what my big wish for 2012 is. What I desire to happen for me above all else in the coming twelve months.

Here’s what I wrote …

Hi Connie

Thanks for this opportunity. You have an amazingly generous spirit.

Wishing is not something I do very often for myself but I do it very easily in relation to others.

I have convinced myself that wishes come true only for lucky people and I am not one of them. For me luck has never figured into anything, only hard work. It is exactly this thinking and it’s related actions that has led me to the point where I am writing this from bed as I am trying to recuperate from shingles. My body has said I’ve had enough – you will slow down – so in the last 7 days I have had plenty of time to think about what I want to change in my life as I have tried to deal with the endless pain caused by this virus inside my body.

My wishBig for 2012 is that I start honouring and believing in myself and accept that I am enough as I am. I always think I’m not good enough and that I have to prove myself to be worthy of anything and everything. As a result I push myself incredibly hard and take everything I do very, very seriously. I am always putting energy into needing to be more – to improve and develop myself to be the best I can be – and being there for everyone else. However I always forget that I need some of me as well.

I have allowed my day job to control my life. I want to change this situation. At the moment it is a means to an end. It is not my life’s work. It is not how I will be defined on my death bed. I do have dreams for a different future. I get panicked that time is running out and that I need to do it all now. I don’t. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will I be. This is a lifetime’s work and that is why I want to make very day count but not at any cost.

What I want is to love me as I do so unconditionally everyone else. I want to love all of me and make time to honor my physical, spiritual, creative, and intellectual needs. I want to bring balance, laughter and joy back into my life so I can start turning my dreams into reality.

I want to be that girl that allows herself to make a wish with a dandelion in her hand and imagine anything is possible. I want to believe and trust that wishes can come true for me too.

Love Marica

There are numerous other wishes lurking around inside me. They are begging for a voice if they are to have any power to become real.

What do you wish for yourself in 2012?

Manifesto
12. Every day love yourself.
17. Every day look through a new lens.
34. Every day focus on your dreams.

The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities. — James Allen

My dreams are coming true.

Dreams I didn’t even know I had.

I need to spend some time dreaming bigger. Not like those ‘hey you, loser – yes you – buy my book/course/dvd and you’ll be more’ self development infommercials. It’s more along the lines of not limiting my dreams to the kinds of things that I know can happen and start to think about some more interesting, more exciting (at least to me) options.

Even the oaks make these wildly vibrant lime green leaves in Spring. Talk about inspiring. They change them for other ideas later in the season. And then in autumn, some oaks go with vibrant reds, others work with tans. Beautiful. Thank you, oak.

Time for new ideas. More writing.

Manifesto
34. Every day focus on your dreams.
37. Every day fight for what’s worth fighting for. Pick your battles.
46. Every day you can change your thoughts.

The second learning was an acceptance that not only could I not progress to the next step without assistance from other people, I really wanted to collaborate with others. Together we can do it. A bit of motherly advice there, thanks Mum.

We’ve been talking a lot about times of processing compared with times of action. The processing part has sometimes been rather frustrating, but the action part feels good. What’s starting to happen is, after what seems like the longest time waiting – getting ready to get ready – that some of my dreams are starting to roll down the runway, gathering a little momentum. This time last week? Gathering spider webs and dust bunnies. Today, a bit creaky, but moving. Progress, onwards and upwards.

Finally.

Exciting!

Manifesto
04. Every day is an opportunity to cultivate the promise of the future.
08. Every day choose to bring about change.
10. Every day connect with somebody.

Back in the day Te Aro Park in Dixon/Manners Street was replete with pigeons. Replete. There were hundreds. Thousands. The park was more commonly known as ‘Pigeon Park’. I loved the crazed fluster of wings and the mad enterprise as the flocks soared and squabbled over the crusts from the lunch time crowds.

Later, I made a series of photos of pigeons in Cuba Street, and I used them to help get entry into design school. Somewhere along the way I lost the photos – I wonder if they were as good in reality as they are in my mind.

Today, I still love the metallic feather sparkle that pigeons exhibit when they strut around in sunlight. Their lolly pink feet – pigeons walk on lolly pink feet. Other birds, like sparrows and starlings, hop. Pigeons have a proud, almost defiant stance. And I especially love the fact that, despite the best efforts of the authorities, there are still pigeons fluttering and jostling for crusts on our streets.

Manifesto
14. Every day the ordinary can be the extraordinary.
30. Every day use all your senses. Touch. Smell. Taste. Hear. See.
49. Every day is a good day.

Other than the bright blue skies on those magical clear days, Wellington is not a brightly coloured city. That’s not to say that the town is colourless, rather that Wellington specialises in a fine range of muted tones. The combinations are often subtle, but often very beautiful. There’s also a rich fusion of Victorian and more modern architectural styles – it’s terrific – very inspirational.

As I walk around hunting for the elusive shot of the day, I wonder what the stories are behind the façades and windows. If this building was in use by time travellers, is this the light fitting they’d use?

Manifesto
36. Every day be still. Connect to your inner being. Listen and be guided by it.
41. Every day use your mind. It is the greatest technology ever created.
45. Every day you are a different person.

I launch a mini blitz on the office. I like an organised work space. Some times I achieve an organised work space for minutes at a time. I don’t really relate to the culture of stark, sterile work spaces – I appreciate some people are like this, but I think a little bit of clutter lets in space for fragments of creativity to creep in around the edges. Infecting this kind of a culture seems like a good thing. I still try for a more organised space. It’s a work in progress.

Manifesto
04. Every day is an opportunity to cultivate the promise of the future.
16. Every day looking at the order of things gives you power.
22. Every day refine, clarify and simplify.