There’s a difference between ‘lubricating the wheels’ – helping someone progress on their own path versus taking over and preventing the person from developing in any way for themselves. My Dad had knack of helping where he would tell me, show me the first few steps, and then watch me do the rest of the task, stepping in to advise if necessary, but otherwise letting me get on with it. Even making a mistake or two. I didn’t recognise it at the time – I was too busy making sawdust or pruning the grapes or whatever – but how liberating. For the both of us.

By showing me how to cut a straight line with a handsaw Dad didn’t retain any power or control, he willingly passed that knowledge and power to me. In exchange I believe his mana was increased because his son can now put a (mostly) straight cut through wood. Dad could’ve made the cut himself – it would definitely have been faster, straighter, ‘better’ – but in doing so he (and I) would have been subtly diminished.

How loving. How trusting.

Manifesto
15. Every day make a difference to yourself and others.
18. Every day express love. Some people need to hear it. Most people need to see it. Don’t take it for granted.
38. Every day be brave and give things a go. Use fear to trigger you into action.

I’m unsure that anything really changes. To me it seems most people change one kind of slavery for another; without much of a pay-off. It really seems at best people jump off one line to find themselves on the next line (or two) across, and that maybe the only significant change is the momentary breath of fresh air in the new setting. It’s not rejuvenation. Before long, the new ways end up looking a lot like the old ways.

It’s hard to give up old comfortable patterns.

Mostly because it’s easy to grow a ponytail, to get a harley. It’s a lot harder to make inner, deeply personal changes to your heart and mind; to see things in a truly fresh way. True change.

Manifesto
02. Every day is an opportunity for a new beginning.
06. Every day you make choices.
08. Every day choose to bring about change.

I launch a mini blitz on the office. I like an organised work space. Some times I achieve an organised work space for minutes at a time. I don’t really relate to the culture of stark, sterile work spaces – I appreciate some people are like this, but I think a little bit of clutter lets in space for fragments of creativity to creep in around the edges. Infecting this kind of a culture seems like a good thing. I still try for a more organised space. It’s a work in progress.

Manifesto
04. Every day is an opportunity to cultivate the promise of the future.
16. Every day looking at the order of things gives you power.
22. Every day refine, clarify and simplify.

The south coast.

The sun arcs overhead. Waves rolling out like freshly floured pastry on the shore. The ancient traditions of worshipping on the sea shore. It’s the one place most people can find a space in the corners of their minds for themselves.

Each of us chases the waves in our own way.

Living life out, breathing life in.

It’s a prayer for ourselves, voiced in the infinite voice of angels.

That is the only way we know how to do it.

Manifesto
05. Every day is now. The present moment.
23. Every day retain your personal power. It belongs to you. No one else.
39. Every day trust that there is a bigger picture. You are a part of it even if you may not know what it is.

Oh, and the Big Banana? Check out the yellow sleeping bag outfit stage right. Perfect for dealing with the nippy Wellington breeze.

Manifesto
29. Every day eat, drink, rest, work, exercise, play, love, create for your own good. And the good of others.
30. Every day use all your senses. Touch. Smell. Taste. Hear. See.
32. Every day have a laugh.

Everything we have, everything, can be whipped away in a second. Most of us know this in a kind of theoretical way, but we still bumble through the hours in something of a dream, seemingly oblivious to reality. It’s only when there’s a crisis of some kind that we suddenly wake up to reality and to ourselves. For some it’s fantastic thrilling good news opportunity, for others it’s more of a shocking and tragic loss.

Either way I think it’s still something of a loss. We miss the every moment opportunity of being right here, right now, fully attending in the present, as we scurry on to the next “more important” moment. As if the anticipated moments are somehow going to be more important. More valuable. Somehow.

Manifesto
35. Every day focus on what matters to you.
48. Every day there are things you can’t change. You can change the way you think about them and deal with them.
49. Every day is a good day.

I don’t believe there’s some enormous cosmic (or comic) plan, some conspiracy or other force at play – I just think that behind the sadness and frustration there’s nothing. I refuse to reinforce the sense of loss by giving it a meaning or interpretation. It’s just loss. I find no comfort in peppy pop psych quotes about how “change is good” and “change is the only constant”. Believe me, when the lights go out, the old fears are just a heartbeat away.

What’s proven far more valuable to me is to work with the sense of gain with gratitude for those things that continue to work and those people who are still here.

I got to spend a few precious moments with my father-in-law Mate (say: Marty) this afternoon. There’s never enough time. We talked about photography and how the technology had changed. I enjoy his company very much. He’s generous with his stories, with his heart, and with his laughter – and I love that very much – but I sometimes I feel helpless about what I feel he isn’t telling and I feel sad at the untold story. It’s like the silence between the words weighs more – there should be more, more – something. There’s an unspoken meaning, something I’m missing, misunderstanding. I fall back in the chair and we carry on. Working with what we’ve got. Nothing more, nothing less. Thank you. That’s enough.

Happy Father’s Day Mate.

Manifesto
20. Every day say thank you.
21. Every day seek the support of others. You are not alone.
42. Every day celebrate. Who you are. What you have achieved. Things that matter to you.

There’s another terrific thing about having friends who see things in other ways. There’s a universe of sounds, sights, and smells out there that we don’t always notice, or take the time to pay attention to, let alone to enjoy. If you’ve got a friend who can show you something new to hear, see, or smell, your perception of the world expands to a whole new horizon. It helps you feel better about yourself too, experiencing new things in new ways. And being out, on a bright and beautiful morning, with a friend, on Lyall Bay beach.

Manifesto
01. Every day is a fresh new day.
05. Every day is now. The present moment.
14. Every day the ordinary can be the extraordinary.

I wonder about the people in their cars – are they set on going home because there’s something special awaiting them there, or will it be the same-old same-old, food where form follows function, and a grope for the remote control. After a day at the office what more could you ask for?

I begin to feel uncomfortable about the time I’m spending on the shoot. Don’t I have to be somewhere else, doing something else, somehow more important? Interesting thought. After some reflection (and a few more shots) I decided that no, right here, right now was the somewhere, something, and somehow that was important. I could ease a gap into my time somewhere else. Or forget about it. The ultimate outcome will remain the same, for all of us.

The photographs I make, and the writing that I do, is what I have to say. What is it that you have to say, and how do you say it? I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently. What is our/my time here all about, and how will this be expressed when we go? It’s easy to get involved in a huge slice of busy-work – get to the office, get to the game, deliver the kids, make the meal, mow the lawn, watch this do that be this be that…

The time is gone,
the song is over,
thought I’d something more to say — Pink Floyd – Time from Dark Side of the Moon

I’ve realised that for me, it’s not the individual photograph, or selected collection of words that defines me; any more than a cook is defined by a specific meal, a hunter by a certain kill, or a preacher by a specific sermon. Rather it is the coherent body of work – the portfolio – driven by, and built over time, more often than not created unconsciously, that describes us at a higher level that provides the lasting definition.

Our individual decisions and acts provide the polish on the faces of the gem of our life.

Manifesto
06. Every day you make choices.
07. Every day making no choice is a choice.
25. Every day your light shines for others to see.

We are now officially half way through 2011. I’m sitting here wondering where these last six months have gone?

Oh yes, now I remember, it’s been busy. Very, very busy in fact. One day has blurred into the other and somehow I feel cheated as though I wasn’t a participant in what took place – yet, I was. There was the review and re-structure at work, having to apply for a new position, being successful in my application and then having to establish a whole new team, having numerous visitors come to stay from overseas, beginning a new programme of study which required me to travel one weekend a month to Auckland, and then there was the myriad of normal challenges that life likes flinging at us. In the process I became lost to myself.

It became very clear to me that things had to change.

Over the last six months an important process has taken place that has helped me clarify the way forward. It was gradual and I didn’t even realise what was happening. Each decision I made felt right – it was as though a huge pressure had been lifted off me.

Today, as I watched the rain fall and felt the cold of winter bore its way into my being I was surprised as to how energised and excited I felt. I’ve learnt that giving things a go is important. I’ve also learnt that when it isn’t working how you imagined you can pull the plugs and move on. Often we change without even realising it and yet our dreams and passions are stuck with the old us and not where we are here and now.

I appeared to have moved on only I hadn’t consciously registered this fact. I wanted to make the space in my life to be doing what matters to me today.

This has definitely been the season of making decisions and self-discovery. None of this has been easy and without a lot of angst and the odd tear or two, but it has all been worth it. I know what I want and now the challenge is to make it all happen. I’m going to need all the energy I can muster!

As an aside, the fruit in this picture is a quince – a fruit introduced to me by my husband Lynsey. The quince jelly Lynsey makes is unbelievably delicious and the smell of this fruit is quite unique.

Manifesto
22. Every day refine, clarify and simplify.
38. Every day be brave and give things a go. Use fear to trigger you into action.
43. Every day accept you will make mistakes. Learn from them. They are opportunities in disguise.