Oh, Saturday morning. Isn’t today the big day? Big plans, plenty to do? Action packed places to go, people to see? After a very solid week’s work, 48 hours of me-time. So, get up and go! Go! Go!

Can I check back with you later after a cup of coffee or two?

Just kidding. It has been a most productive day. Perhaps one of the most productive in a long time.

Manifesto
19. Every day make time for yourself.
27. Every day pain is a sign of growing.
32. Every day have a laugh.

The second learning was an acceptance that not only could I not progress to the next step without assistance from other people, I really wanted to collaborate with others. Together we can do it. A bit of motherly advice there, thanks Mum.

We’ve been talking a lot about times of processing compared with times of action. The processing part has sometimes been rather frustrating, but the action part feels good. What’s starting to happen is, after what seems like the longest time waiting – getting ready to get ready – that some of my dreams are starting to roll down the runway, gathering a little momentum. This time last week? Gathering spider webs and dust bunnies. Today, a bit creaky, but moving. Progress, onwards and upwards.

Finally.

Exciting!

Manifesto
04. Every day is an opportunity to cultivate the promise of the future.
08. Every day choose to bring about change.
10. Every day connect with somebody.

I launch a mini blitz on the office. I like an organised work space. Some times I achieve an organised work space for minutes at a time. I don’t really relate to the culture of stark, sterile work spaces – I appreciate some people are like this, but I think a little bit of clutter lets in space for fragments of creativity to creep in around the edges. Infecting this kind of a culture seems like a good thing. I still try for a more organised space. It’s a work in progress.

Manifesto
04. Every day is an opportunity to cultivate the promise of the future.
16. Every day looking at the order of things gives you power.
22. Every day refine, clarify and simplify.

I wondered about drowning. Drowning is a most unpleasant experience. As a kid I misjudged my swimming abilities in a way that could’ve gone badly wrong. There was definitely more water in the Gonville pool than I could cope with. As an adult I know people not too far away from my desk who say that they are drowning in their work. I always feel uncomfortable when I hear people say that – the choking panic is a very clear memory to me.

But many of us do overload ourselves with work. We either take it on, or willingly allow ourselves to be pushed into ever deeper depths of workload. We want to do a good job, show off our capacities in front of friends and colleagues, and end up choking and gagging. There’s definitely more water in the work pool than you can cope with.

When I finally struggled to the surface, panicking, coughing out the burning chlorinated water, all I could think about was getting out of the water, and on to the sun baked concrete. I can remember flapping my right arm over the edge and feeling the reassuring burn of the concrete. I wanted to hang on to some sort hand grip – anything – but that concrete was the best there was, and at that moment it was the best thing ever. I managed to clamber out of the pool and I sat there feeling sorry for myself (and not a little stupid), taking stock and trying to stop shivering.

After the terror started to fade, I noticed the other people – kids mostly – shouting, giggling, splashing, and having a great time. The water in the pool was this gorgeous, sparkling blue. The sky – a perfect Summer day. The colours, sounds, sensations – everything was magic, beautiful. I’m drowning one moment, drinking in the beauty the next.

The reality is, the beauty was there, surrounding me, all the time. I just needed to almost lose it in order to see it, to experience the precious moment. If you’re drowning in your work, I urge you lift your head up about the surface and suck down some life-giving space into your lungs. Stick your head up like a meerkat, and look around. Look.

Precious moments.

How many do you think you’re going to have?

Manifesto
02. Every day is an opportunity for a new beginning.
05. Every day is now. The present moment.
19. Every day make time for yourself.

Annoyingly, some of the branches seem really interesting. Unfortunately, no matter how interesting they seem to be, they’re just distractions.

Manifesto
22. Every day refine, clarify and simplify.
26. Every day take action. Every small step counts.
34. Every day focus on your dreams.

Everything we have, everything, can be whipped away in a second. Most of us know this in a kind of theoretical way, but we still bumble through the hours in something of a dream, seemingly oblivious to reality. It’s only when there’s a crisis of some kind that we suddenly wake up to reality and to ourselves. For some it’s fantastic thrilling good news opportunity, for others it’s more of a shocking and tragic loss.

Either way I think it’s still something of a loss. We miss the every moment opportunity of being right here, right now, fully attending in the present, as we scurry on to the next “more important” moment. As if the anticipated moments are somehow going to be more important. More valuable. Somehow.

Manifesto
35. Every day focus on what matters to you.
48. Every day there are things you can’t change. You can change the way you think about them and deal with them.
49. Every day is a good day.

It’s the principle that counts here – for those of you seeking employment or a business – there’s much gain to be made from correcting things. ‘Where there’s muck there’s brass’, the old saying goes. Many human activities – job roles or business enterprises are based on making corrections to situations. Cleaning, quality assurance, panel beating, surgery, hostage negotiation, fire fighting – the list goes on – are all essentially corrective activities. Often these activities are highly paid, and the people who engage in these activities are amongst the most respected in our communities. And if you find yourself in need of a skilled correction specialist – a plumber perhaps, a road-side rescue for you and your car, or dentist – you’ll know just how welcome these people can be.

Makes me feel proud to be amongst such creative and worthy companions.

Manifesto
08. Every day choose to bring about change.
14. Every day the ordinary can be the extraordinary.
42. Every day celebrate. Who you are. What you have achieved. Things that matter to you.

I wonder about the people in their cars – are they set on going home because there’s something special awaiting them there, or will it be the same-old same-old, food where form follows function, and a grope for the remote control. After a day at the office what more could you ask for?

I begin to feel uncomfortable about the time I’m spending on the shoot. Don’t I have to be somewhere else, doing something else, somehow more important? Interesting thought. After some reflection (and a few more shots) I decided that no, right here, right now was the somewhere, something, and somehow that was important. I could ease a gap into my time somewhere else. Or forget about it. The ultimate outcome will remain the same, for all of us.

The photographs I make, and the writing that I do, is what I have to say. What is it that you have to say, and how do you say it? I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently. What is our/my time here all about, and how will this be expressed when we go? It’s easy to get involved in a huge slice of busy-work – get to the office, get to the game, deliver the kids, make the meal, mow the lawn, watch this do that be this be that…

The time is gone,
the song is over,
thought I’d something more to say — Pink Floyd – Time from Dark Side of the Moon

I’ve realised that for me, it’s not the individual photograph, or selected collection of words that defines me; any more than a cook is defined by a specific meal, a hunter by a certain kill, or a preacher by a specific sermon. Rather it is the coherent body of work – the portfolio – driven by, and built over time, more often than not created unconsciously, that describes us at a higher level that provides the lasting definition.

Our individual decisions and acts provide the polish on the faces of the gem of our life.

Manifesto
06. Every day you make choices.
07. Every day making no choice is a choice.
25. Every day your light shines for others to see.

We are now officially half way through 2011. I’m sitting here wondering where these last six months have gone?

Oh yes, now I remember, it’s been busy. Very, very busy in fact. One day has blurred into the other and somehow I feel cheated as though I wasn’t a participant in what took place – yet, I was. There was the review and re-structure at work, having to apply for a new position, being successful in my application and then having to establish a whole new team, having numerous visitors come to stay from overseas, beginning a new programme of study which required me to travel one weekend a month to Auckland, and then there was the myriad of normal challenges that life likes flinging at us. In the process I became lost to myself.

It became very clear to me that things had to change.

Over the last six months an important process has taken place that has helped me clarify the way forward. It was gradual and I didn’t even realise what was happening. Each decision I made felt right – it was as though a huge pressure had been lifted off me.

Today, as I watched the rain fall and felt the cold of winter bore its way into my being I was surprised as to how energised and excited I felt. I’ve learnt that giving things a go is important. I’ve also learnt that when it isn’t working how you imagined you can pull the plugs and move on. Often we change without even realising it and yet our dreams and passions are stuck with the old us and not where we are here and now.

I appeared to have moved on only I hadn’t consciously registered this fact. I wanted to make the space in my life to be doing what matters to me today.

This has definitely been the season of making decisions and self-discovery. None of this has been easy and without a lot of angst and the odd tear or two, but it has all been worth it. I know what I want and now the challenge is to make it all happen. I’m going to need all the energy I can muster!

As an aside, the fruit in this picture is a quince – a fruit introduced to me by my husband Lynsey. The quince jelly Lynsey makes is unbelievably delicious and the smell of this fruit is quite unique.

Manifesto
22. Every day refine, clarify and simplify.
38. Every day be brave and give things a go. Use fear to trigger you into action.
43. Every day accept you will make mistakes. Learn from them. They are opportunities in disguise.

Look at you. Pathetic. Start ups always fail. You and your ridiculous dreams. You’re never going to amount to anything. Buck your ideas up. You’ve left your run too late. What do you think you’ll be able to change? You’ll do a lot with a big stick and a tin of stones. I’m very disappointed in you. Design is not one of your strengths is it? We’ve tried that before. Not exactly original is it? None of the competitors do it therefore it’s not standard, and therefore we’re not going to do it. You’re too little. I can see no-one has taught you how to do this before. You can’t do this. You’re lazy. Knew you couldn’t do it. Doesn’t count. What would you know? We wish you the best for your future endeavours. Not your best effort. We don’t need any more of your designs. Nobody takes you seriously. Weak. It doesn’t work. Won’t amount to much. I don’t like it. You’re spoiled. You’re just showing off. You should’ve paid attention. Could try harder. You got it wrong. Loser. Fail.

Do let me know if I’ve missed any out.

Give me the benefit of your convictions, if you have any; but keep your doubts to yourself, for I have enough of my own. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Manifesto
12. Every day love yourself.
23. Every day retain your personal power. It belongs to you. No one else.
28. Every day you will be tested.