Some plants will join up and grow together – the roots of olives, as an example, will grow together and support the two (or more) trunks and leaf canopy. Carrots will grow together if the seeds are planted close enough. I think this is also how it works for humans. If two people are compatible, given enough time and mutual support they will grow together. It’s hard to work out where one starts and the other stops. Friends and lovers. Together. Forever.

Manifesto
06. Every day you make choices.
10. Every day connect with somebody.
18. Every day express love. Some people need to hear it. Most people need to see it. Don’t take it for granted.

Dragon gates? Maybe the designer was inspired by the sword blade cabbage tree leaves, or by palms, or ferns or who knows – to me the gates at Te Papa feel like some amazing Chinese style dragon, from the bright red colour through to the spiked back. I love it.

I love it when design is invoked – the gates could be almost any functional device – but in this case someone has taken some time out to think about what the gates might be like in this application. What kind of gates? What kind of story is being told? Most of what we’re surrounded by every day is stuff that unfortunately hasn’t had a great deal of design polish applied. The choices we make.

Manifesto
14. Every day the ordinary can be the extraordinary.
30. Every day use all your senses. Touch. Smell. Taste. Hear. See.
49. Every day is a good day.

Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy, especially when I allow my inner critic to have a voice. During these times I have felt trapped by my body and my thoughts. It just happens. It creeps up on me. I’m aware of what is happening and I want to stop it so I can escape from the feelings that momentarily drag me down.

The worst thing about these situations is how they can alter my perspective. Instead of looking at what’s right about a situation it becomes easier to focus on what’s wrong even though I know this isn’t productive in the long run. Experience has taught me that the way we frame our thoughts has such a huge impact on what happens next.

This is what I started to think about when I noticed the hand coming out of the boot of the car in front of us today. It was an unusual sight so it drew my attention. I assume the owner of the car put this rubber hand in this particular position to make people laugh. I could see the humour only another message took hold. This message had to do with having options and the choices we make on a daily basis. I imagined being the person trapped inside this car boot who was desperately wanting to get out. What would I do? How would I handle this situation? In many ways this situation is familiar to us all even if the context is different.

Feeling trapped can be productive or unproductive depending on the decisions we make.

We can choose to feel overwhelmed by our life, our circumstances, our relationships, our jobs, our financial situation, global and local events, by whatever drama presents itself to us at any one point in time. We can become paralysed by all this and choose to do nothing in response. On the surface it can feel easier because it is at least familiar.

Or we can look at every situation as an opportunity to grow, learn and make the changes that will lead us to where we want to be. Looking through new eyes and discovering new perspective helps us to reframe our thinking and leads us to take the action required. If we can imagine where we are headed and what it will look like we feel greater confidence in taking the jump that will get us there. Its not the easier option but it is definitely more satisfying and rewarding.

I know which perspective I’d rather take, and in reality have taken over the years – except when those momentary lapses occur. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t chosen to focus on moving ahead and being prepared to change whatever needed to change.

Manifesto
37. Every day fight for what’s worth fighting for. Pick your battles.
38. Every day be brave and give things a go. Use fear to trigger you into action.
46. Every day you can change your thoughts.

Your life will be no better than the plans you make, and the action you take. You are the architect and builder of your own life, fortune, and destiny. — Alfred Montapert

I think it must be one of the most amazing feelings to be able to step back from a magnificent building you’ve designed and see it standing there – this huge sculpture, a machine for living and/or working in. How much more so if we are considering ourselves. In the case of this building an individual person came up with the idea – I don’t care how much we like to believe there’s a team for everything, the reality is there’s always just one person who has an idea.

Pretty quickly thereafter someone else gets involved and the idea grows and is modified and grows again – everybody takes a view and makes their contribution – huge or humble – and soon the building is finished.

When we work on building ourselves the building of ourselves is not so quickly finished – it takes literally a lifetime. Somewhere by about the age of 10-12 the average person is pretty much set up, and from there it’s more about refinement or enhancement rather than an entirely new set of plans and a new building. It takes an exceptional person to be able to help a young person make good or even great choices. I believe it’s a lucky child who finds a ‘teacher’ (inside or outside of a school setting) who knows just how to give exactly the right firm but loving push on the right path.

And then it is, for the most part, over to the individual to do the planning and the building. I believe it’s rare for the ‘teacher’ to be around to see the triumphant end result – a person who has become a complete expression of their own positive potential. That’s a complete blessing for them both.

Manifesto
04. Every day is an opportunity to cultivate the promise of the future.
11. Every day do something for someone else.
43. Every day accept you will make mistakes. Learn from them. They are opportunities in disguise.

These days I’m spending a lot of time thinking about, and being with, my sister as she comes to terms with the fact that she has cancer. She is having to face her fears and grief, deal with it all, and ready herself for the fight ahead. This is no ordinary fight – it is the fight for life, the most precious gift we can ever be given.

There are still so many unknowns but one thing I do know is that hope, faith, love, trust and the power of positivity are all part of the healing process. This is another journey my sister, and all of us who love and care about her, have embarked on. Life takes us to places we never imagined or didn’t want to imagine.

Many people have trodden this path. We are not alone. Yet this is our unique journey and at the moment it is raw and very painful. We are all relying on our natural defenses to deal with the shock of the diagnosis and its reality.

Today I noticed something unusual on the footpath as I drove down a street. I had to stop and investigate it. As the wind swirled around this protective covering of whatever was underneath it would puff out and make whatever was underneath look huge. Then as the wind calmed down it would deflate and look so tiny. Beneath the cover was a scooter but at times you imagined it was the biggest, meanest looking motorbike that would take on anyone and anything.

Animals protect themselves in this way all the time. They live with the daily threat of natural, and man made, enemies and their natural defense is either to fight, to fool or take flight.

If we think about it we humans have all these same natural defenses to things that threaten us. We have the ability to take flight – by running from it, avoiding it or pretending the threat doesn’t exist. We are able to fool others through our behaviour – what we say, how we act, how we look, how we react, what we do and don’t do. We also have the ability to fight – physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually.

Let’s face it, we are extraordinary. That is, if we allow ourselves to be.

As Randy Pausch said in his Last Lecture, “You just have to decide if you’re a Tigger or an Eeyore.”

We all have the gift of choice. We decide how we will respond in any given situation. We decide what’s worth fighting for and what isn’t. We decide how we will go forward from this moment. This is in our control.

Manifesto
16. Every day looking at the order of things gives you power.
23. Every day retain your personal power. It belongs to you. No one else.
24. Every day is a journey. Not a destination.

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.
– Smile, music composed by Charlie Chaplin, words written by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons.

We were determined to have lunch together today even though neither of us had much time to spare. It was going to have to be one of those eat and run lunches that we would rather avoid but they are so much better than not seeing each other at all during the day.

I arrived at the agreed to meeting place before Lynsey. As I walked in I was greeted by the bubbly Nicci – the service with a smile queen. She is the reason we go to this cafe. We walk in, she spots us, she greets us with a big smile, she finds us a table, and she has even memorised what we want to order. It is all so effortless. Nicci manages to make us feel like we matter and we appreciate that so much.

After the usual niceties today I asked Nicci how she was.

“Great,” she replied. The huge smile on her face seemed to reinforce her response. However, I noticed something different about her today, she was more buoyant and happier than usual. The smile seemed very authentic.  It appeared to me as though Nicci was smiling from the inside out. Her eyes were sparkling and there was a spring in her step that I hadn’t seen before.

“We didn’t see you last week, we missed you” I said to her.  “Have you been on holiday?”

I assumed this must be the reason for the change – holidays do that to people, they give you a new lease on life. Only this wasn’t the reason.

“I’ve been in hospital,” she said. “I’ve had a life changing operation and I’m really great now.”

Nicci proceeded to tell me how hard it has been for her and how she has really had to force herself to smile, even when it was the last thing she wanted to do.

I was so touched by this heartfelt honesty and the fact that Nicci shared this information with me. She reminded me of how important it is to keep going and put on a brave face even when it is the last thing you want to do. I needed to receive this message today. I wasn’t feeling well and work continues to be pretty full-on.

We should never underestimate the power of a smile. Smiling is contagious. It impacts our mood. We look so much better when we smile. It is a natural drug because it stimulates the release of chemicals in our body that act as pain killers and mood enhancers. Actually smiling has a lot going for it. Let’s make a pact to try and smile more.

Manifesto
06. Every day you make choices.
15. Every day make a difference to yourself and others.
49. Every day is a good day.