© 2009 Marica

093 – Layers

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.
— Anais Nin

Our kitchen window overlooks a garden in which the previous owner had planted a large number of roses.  I have never been a great fan of roses but I have grown to love them after watching these plants grow on a day by day basis.

During the winter Lynsey gave the the rose plants a rigorous pruning so that all that remained was their brown stems poking out of the dirt. It always surprises me that the plant doesn’t die from the shock of it all. Instead the roses seem to thrive from this annual attack with the secateurs.

Very soon afterwards the buds began to burst out and I could see the green tips starting to emerge. As time passed the growth on these plants continued despite the freezing cold weather, the torrential rains and endless battering from gale force winds. These roses stood up to it all and kept on growing.

The most exciting part is seeing the rose bud form then burst forth to release the coloured petals. This particular red rose (in today’s photo) has fascinated me for weeks now as I have watched it reach full bloom. Whenever I am in the kitchen I stand there and look at it. I marvel at the many layers that have emerged as the rose has revealed itself to us.

As humans we too have many layers tucked away inside only we’re not as willing to unfold and expose them to all and sundry like this rose. I suppose in many ways we are more fortunate than the rose – we have some control over our growth, what we expose and when. We tend to guard our layers because they are a sacred part of who we are. We reveal parts of ourselves when we trust others, when we feel safe, when we think they will understand and not judge us.

Blooming, or being authentic, can be a scary experience. It takes courage and strength – you might even need to deal with numerous storms along the way. Sometimes it is easier to not go there – keeping our skills, talents, and emotions hidden seems somehow safer (even easier) because the people around us don’t know how to cope with what we might share as the ‘real’ you emerges for all to see – but does this make us happier? Being true to ourselves is never a straightforward path, it is one that unfolds in numerous ways throughout our lifetime. By living we are constantly changing – every day we are different. This is a process just like the growth and unfolding of a flower.

We can bloom more than once. As we grow throughout our lives we form new layers, we discard the ones that are no longer relevant, we keep some tightly tucked away and in some instances that is the best place for them – we can bloom over and over again. We have this choice.

08. Every day choose to bring about change.
43. Every day accept you will make mistakes. Learn from them. They are opportunities in disguise.
45. Every day you are a different person.